Days 12-15 She'll be fallin off the wagon when she comes

Damn it has been tough the past few days. Obviously had a bit of fun and booze on Friday, with my bezzie, which is allowed. I have been off the sauce since a few sips of yummy draught beer on Saturday.

However, last night I was riding this cheese and crackers wave that I couldn't get off. If loving cheese and crackers is wrong, I don't want to be right. Except I was really, really wrong last night. My stomach's paying for it today. I'm certain the pregnancy rumours are circulating around the office as we speak.

Of course, I have been going to the gym each weekday. I think I'm going to have to step it up a bit. Seems an hour a day isn't enough because I have turned into pac-man with the eating, and am cursed with a metabolism as slow as the workings in Hilton's brain. Damn. That gym's just as filthy as always and it has no a/c. As you can imagine it's pretty hot in there- all windows and it's summer. I wish it was hot in other ways, but nope, just filled with over-pumped young guys still strutting around in old messed up trainers, short vent-y shorts and black socks. My stalker was there last night. Oh yeah! News! I have a stalker again, so there must be some hotness which has successfully been reclaimed. Although I don't think I am the only one he stalks. He's ginger and has an Abe Lincoln beard. Because he looks like one of the seven dwarfs, I've named him Sweaty. I'll see if I can get a photo.

By the way, we've been watching Britain's Got Talent. Which has got to be one of the best shows ever. I love the singing monkey guy and the Michael Jackson video dancers. And that little 4 year old girl Shakira. Shakira's got some issues. And not just with having loser, uncreative parents who have no taste in music. That outfit she had on suggests a beauty-pageant life of pressure and rejection. Still, little bitch can salsa. It was funny when Simon went on and on about how fantastic she was and that she was through to the next round. Shakira had no idea what he was saying. She's 4 and can't speak in compound sentences.